Career Education

I am seeking my next relationship and in this time of home sequestering. Virtual dating applications make the most sense. One person wrote about getting a rescue dog sight unseen, meaning over the internet. Her success accepting a rescue dog from Tennessee completely over the internet caused her to express her hope to have similar success finding a human partner. I admit to feeling at times like a mutt or used goods, but I don’t think that would be a smart way to present myself even to her.

I shared a passage from Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening” with my children titled “Consider or Enter.” These begin with a poem or saying. The poem read:

If you try to comprehend air before breathing it, you will die.

It was offered by me because of its timely message for how they were grappling with their current issues.

I received a call yesterday from my first client telling me she had just given her notice ending her 25 years with the company. My connection to this decision began three years ago and Helen’s journey presents a perspective on what it can take to leave a well-paid position, with significant authority in which she had spent years cultivating. Why would she do this?

The summer is coming to a close which in New England means we have maybe eight weeks remaining for the hardiest of golfers. I never expected to become a golfer. I picked up the game as a way to fill the weekends my kids were with their mother. I have come to appreciate the challenge the game provides and it being a wonderful practice ground for mindfulness. Like the majority of golfers, I have a fade that flirts with being a slice. This, for the uninitiated means the ball flight will curve to the right for a right-handed golfer. A fade/to slice cuts down on the overall distance of the shot and frequently puts the ball into trouble.

There are references these days to “you shouldn’t respond out of your fear.” This most frequently is spoken when there is a major topic like the pandemic, global warming, social justice, or other. Fear is present for lesser moments in our lives robbing us of potential joy.

Retirements are typically framed like an extended vacation. Our vacations are planned play time. We seek to be more active, outdoors, or visiting places. Retirement will be when we get to put our feet up and relax, play unlimited rounds of golf or hands of bridge, or take off to travel monthly. Retirement can often be thought of as play time, or at least a change from working. Either retirement or vacation, we wish to do what we can’t do while working.

During my introduction to a flight school, a pilot entered to turn in a rented plane. He lives in Alaska and said he returns monthly to NH for his job. He said he was the envy of his retired colleagues because he is working a week every month rather than being fully retired. He is a surgeon. He obviously likes his profession enough to make the monthly trek from Alaska. We talked further about the struggle his peers were having in this new phase of their lives.

I spent a week in July with my grandson. He recently turned two years old. Our thing that week was belly flops on the floor. He from standing and me from my knees. It was fun and it was not sustainable. My visit was also to help my son and daughter-in-law prepare their house for sale. I caulked baseboards, patched divots in the ceiling, painted, and did brush cleanup in the back yard among other activities. We were doing this while they were simultaneously monitoring the listings for their next home.

This past Sunday I went scouting for a site along the ocean to be used for a future outdoor evening meeting. Last Fall I had sat with friends on the rocky coastline star gazing. Finding this spot was needed so I could give directions to others. It was a hot sunny day. I anticipated there would be a lot of people and cars doing just what I was doing, and I was right. The stretch north of Ipswich, MA and through Amesbury was salt marsh giving way to the beach towns of Salisbury and Hampton Beach.

Sunday June 21st I am sitting at a table facing a man behind a plexiglass screen listening to my daughter talk to him. I hear her say “this is more than I expected the cost to be and I need time to think about it.” Many of us have been in this situation, sans plexiglass screen. Her lease ends the last day of July, and she wanted to relocate for the next two months to be with family out of state. She wanted me present for support only as this was her deal.

The teacher instructed us to soften our gaze and look around the room stopping on whatever caught our attention. Notice your experience and then continue scanning the room. My eyes stopped on the brick hearth. I then moved to the right and settled on a blank wall above waist level. I noted the level because my gaze was avoiding the plywood sheets tilted against the wall, the couple of floor lamps, three rugs, the packaging for the rugs, and the packing blankets resting on the woodstove.

I have had two examples recently which underscore the importance of the alignment of what I wish to say with how it is being spoken.

My friend recounts his last twenty-four hours beginning with the declaration “Everything has changed!”. So, I am primed for Wow, what happened and what is this new reality? The story is relatively private so I will limit the details I provide……. Now, how are you going to tell if “Everything has changed” if I don’t give details? For purpose of this essay the details are not critical to the point. When I learned the details, what was said was a new piece of information had been uncovered.

Thursday, I found myself grappling with a personal conflict after my golf league match. Is it safe to mingle at the tables under the tent outside? The tables accommodate 8 chairs with normal spacing but that is not appropriate distancing and even if we pull back from the table. Do I voice my concern and have everyone follow my interpretation of the rules or quietly defer to the group? The conundrum is the differing interpretations and norms of the group.

I am an abstract painter. My inspiration is the energy I feel. It could be within me, within another, or in a panorama. I used to say abstract art is easier because no one could criticize my interpretation as being inaccurate. Whereas if I painted a chair, there could be legitimate debate about the quality of the chair for we have the subject in front of us.

Its 11:30 May 5th at the commons of Amherst, NH. I am laying out a mover’s packing blanket, then putting an oriental rug on that. I had two folding chairs placed at opposite ends of the rug. To the side of the rug I have a four-foot portable table with two small vases holding newly purchased yellow daisies, a small tray with an apricot scone, a gluten free banana chocolate chip muffin and a tub of humus with rice crackers. There is a camp stove to boil water for tea and a storage box with extra blankets should we feel cold. I am set for my first date in the social distancing era.

In the seventies when I was entering the working world the objective was to find a company, commit my time and allegiance for the promise of a respectable retirement package. We were being offered security. I had not lived through the prior world wars nor the hard ships of the depression from which the basis of this offering was crafted. I did not know how lucky I was compared to what my father had faced at a similar age 30 years prior. It was the agreement and promise of working in America.

I woke Tuesday with thoughts rushing through my head. These thoughts came into alignment and settled down into an orderly insight. This Tuesday I connected to my purpose in life. The thing I have been seeking for over 40 years crystalized. Fireworks, bright lights, ear to ear smile, a chest full of joy…! How can I share the feeling? I know the limitation inherent in trying to write about a feeling. This is one that I want to share damn it. One of the most momentous in my life.

Who was ready for the physical distancing, the home isolation, or the run on toilet paper? Covid 19 was a surprise. What will be your story about this event in history?

Who wants to say “I lived my life by someone else’s plan”?

I walked from my front door to a small stretch of trails to investigate the possibility of an alternative path from them home. The trail was ice covered in sections as it followed the banks of a large creek. It was calm and peaceful.

The unique traits that are inherent to the gender, can actually make women exceptional leaders.

It isn’t unusual to feel like you have hit a rut in life, uninspired by the mundaneness of every day. In fact, this is typically a good indicator that a change is needed. Change comes in many forms, from a new career to a hobby or interest.

It isn’t unusual when you have been in your career for some time to begin to feel discouraged, bored and just uninspired each day.

Joy comes in many forms, from a day spent with family and friends to accomplishing a difficult task at work or finally running a mile without feeling out of breath.