Thursday, I found myself grappling with a personal conflict after my golf league match. Is it safe to mingle at the tables under the tent outside? The tables accommodate 8 chairs with normal spacing but that is not appropriate distancing and even if we pull back from the table. Do I voice my concern and have everyone follow my interpretation of the rules or quietly defer to the group? The conundrum is the differing interpretations and norms of the group.
We face these challenges frequently. The current virus is particularly hideous as we can’t tell who is infected and who isn’t because the visible signs emerge well after a person is contagious. Does this then mean no one can be trusted? Avoid contact with everyone or only those who don’t live with me? What about those who have been 14 days without symptoms? The true measure would be 14 days since my or their last contact with someone outside of my house.
Even if there is agreement about the virus, there are likely differing opinions about how to apply the social distancing directives.
The biggest challenge is how to make a decision like this when we can’t possibly have all of the information in the moment to identify the right answer. However, we don’t always look to the most important places for guidance with these questions or we might even ignore the source, our body.
Our body, our being is an important source of information. Learning to recognize our physical response or reaction to a question is often ignored yet is remarkably valuable. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel physically uncomfortable even though there weren’t any obvious signs alerting you to be careful? Did you notice? What did you do?
Noticing these feelings is important for they can call you to pay attention and determine what action would be appropriate to take. In the scenario above if I am getting the feeling of being unsafe, then I could ask myself if I would feel better if I left. Would I feel ok sitting at a separate table or a little further apart from the table? Each of those questions would help you find the alternatives that could calm the feeling.
The steps are to recognize you are having a reaction, identify possible options based again on the experience in your body, then follow the choice that feels the best. I am not suggesting this is easy to trust but it can be learned. Including your body as part of the information can be very helpful to your making good decisions that are invigorating and contribute to living a life that you love.
