I walked from my front door to a small stretch of trails to investigate the possibility of an alternative path from them home. The trail was ice covered in sections as it followed the banks of a large creek. It was calm and peaceful.
I walked from my front door to a small stretch of trails to investigate the possibility of an alternative path from them home. The trail was ice covered in sections as it followed the banks of a large creek. It was calm and peaceful. I had the trail to myself. Maybe the 30-degree temperature or being a Sunday morning, others chose to stay indoors.
As I continued the rumble of the rapids grew. I could see the gurgling, boiling of the rapids being backlit by the sun creating a shimmery, sparkly kind of mist as I approached. The sound very loud now as I watch the volume of water work around and over submerged rocks and under fallen trees. Icicles were hanging shimmering in the morning light. What power, what grace. I was struck by the beauty of this force and churn of the falls. This was perfect for someone not there. I envisioned their delight, and my delight in their joy. I was thinking this was a moment for them. This moment, as I was thinking about it, was not about how it moved me.
I have lived a life struggling with intimate relationships. This moment gave me an insight into one of the reasons. I saw this moment as a way for me to show her I knew her and what she liked. I could picture her excitement. The childish quality of unbridled joy. I would feed off of her unbridled appreciation of the beauty of this scene. I envy her and others that type of response.
Have you found yourself doing something similar? Seeing the moment as perfect as a gift for someone else? While at the same time not noticing how you’re no longer on the side of the creek. Instead you’re off in a fantasy world and you’re the one missing the gift of this moment.
For those of us who envy others who know what they like and want to do. We wish we could think of what we would like to do. What if you were to notice the beauty of this moment for yourself? To notice what about this moves you? Be excited for being excited? Notice where this feeling is in your body. The presence of this feeling in our bodies is how we can tell what we like. Paying attention to this will lead us to what we love, our passions, our joy in our lives. If we do this, then what we have to share with others is both the beauty of the place as well as the joy you feel inside. You become part of the experience. It becomes your life.
