“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” — Anaïs Nin

This has been a year of BIG decisions. Our health, politics, and social lives have all been tested, forcing us to examine what matters most in each area. We’ve been flooded with information, opinions, and passionate arguments on every side. It’s felt like every question came with two opposing answers—each one delivered with heartfelt conviction.

Beneath it all, I see two competing human desires at play:

• The desire to be heard and valued.

• The desire to belong.

The internet has amplified both. It gives us a platform to express ourselves—our thoughts, our truths. But it also spreads misinformation and deepens division. At the heart of it is a basic yearning: we want to be heard. We want someone to really listen.

When that doesn’t happen—when we’re ignored, dismissed, or told to be quiet—we face a choice:

1. Raise our voices. Speak louder to ensure we’re not silenced.

2. Seek out our tribe. Find those who hear us, who reflect our views and validate our experience.

3. Engage the resistance. Step into curiosity with those who don’t agree and explore why they don’t want to listen.

Are we connecting, or are we separating?

For now, let’s simplify and stick with these three paths. How do we choose?

• The first can lead to frustration and self-doubt. If I keep speaking and still feel unheard, I might begin to believe I have nothing worth saying.

• The second provides comfort and ease. Among like-minded people, I can relax and be myself. I’m seen and understood.

• The third is the harder road—and the one with the greatest potential for growth. It invites dialogue, empathy, and self-trust.

Humans are wired for connection. And yet, so much of our suffering stems from how we relate to each other.

If connection is central to our wellbeing, wouldn’t it be wise to consider what’s motivating us?

• Is my need to be heard helping others come closer—or pushing them away?

• Am I speaking to build bridges—or just to win?

Be mindful of your deeper intention. Let it guide you in deciding when to press a point and when to sit in silence. We all have something to contribute—and something to learn. By tuning inward, we can discern whether our actions are bringing us peace or heartache.

That’s how we build a life—and a community—that we love.

Even nature gives us clues about the value of interaction over domination.
We thrive not by overpowering, but by relating.

And yes, it’s a challenge. Engaging with someone who doesn’t want to hear you requires courage. But it also requires something deeper: trust in yourself.

Optional References to Support Your Message:

1. Brené Brown – On vulnerability and the power of true connection. Her TED Talk “The Power of Vulnerability” or her book Braving the Wilderness could be quoted or cited.

2. Harvard Study of Adult Development – This long-term study found that close relationships are the biggest predictor of happiness and health.

3. The Psychology of Belonging – Articles or books (e.g., Together by Dr. Vivek Murthy) that speak to the human need for community and the danger of disconnection.